The Football Fan’s Diet

By Matt DeReno
On The FFD

PITTSBURGH – Yesterday highlights why there is not much difference sometimes between a champion caliber team like the Pittsburgh Steelers and a perennial laughingstock like the Cincinnati Bengals. You see, a few years ago, the Bengals were all the rage to dominate the AFC North because of QB Carson Palmer and WR Chad Johnson and whoever. But, an injury here; a player changing his name to “Ocho Cinco” there; and next thing you know the Bengals suck. It happened a year later with the Cleveland Browns. That had a 10-6 season and next thing you know they are being ordained the 2008 AFC North Champion. Well, we all know how that worked out for them. This is what happened or could be happening to me.

Yesterday, I did the stepper for a freaking hour. Wait, more than an hour. Still, I freaking lost yesterday and I can’t believe I had to chalk up a loss. Worse. The scale bite me back this morning. Man, I suck. It happened because of the night out over at the friend’s place, where there was plenty of food and good eating to have had. Now, mind you, I barely missed the mark but miss it I did. I guess on these sorts of days you want to look back and reflect upon what you did well. After all, you have to have a short memory if you want to find success.

So I am going to forget about it. I will remember that I did the stepper for over a freaking hour. How could I forget that? Anyway, today it is another cold day. We have to take the mother in law back to Pittsburgh International airport and I have to attend a class on network analysis at Carnegie Mellon University. Somewhere in there, I want to get an hour in on the treadmill. Wait. It is Friday. Screw the treadmill – happy hour usually beckons. Damn. It doesn’t end. There is an AFC Championship game this Sunday, which almost guarantees a poor weigh-in on Monday. This is not going to be as easy as I was starting to think it would be. I know: accent the positive.

I am still down for the week on whole. Perhaps I am merely a salad away from making a huge healthy breakthrough. You see, if I can learn to handle social occasions in a healthy manner, I think I will have figured out something big. I even think it means my game will go to a whole new level. So, I have to have a short memory. Now, where are the forms. I need to change my name to “Ocho Stinko!”

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