The Football Fan’s Diet

By Matt De Reno
On The FFD

PITTSBURGH – The week is going very well. I hit a new season low today and the numbers are dropping like I haven’t seen since my big winning streak earlier in the season. Am I awake now? Did I finally make it out of the doldrums, because in some ways, that is exactly where I felt I have been in the past six weeks.
Today is slated for another beautiful sunny day in Pittsburgh and I surely aim to take advantage of it. Of course, this means getting started early for my work at the university, but then, later in the day, I plan to hit the golf course. Speaking of golf, is riding around in a golf cart really exercise? It seems it would be cheap to count it as such, but I think I have learned to count everything because it does ad up – at least in terms of meeting my Daily Game Day Objective.

True, riding around in a golf cart does not burn a whole lot calories in an hour, but then again, it takes 4 and a half hours to play a round of golf. And if you are at least on your feet for that many hours, well, that is much better than sitting behind a keyboard typing a way for an equal amount of time. Slowly, that activity ads up. Big things can happen in small steps and I won’t even pretend to think that is some kind of revelatory insight into the human condition. I will intone that I will count the 4 and half hours of golf as proper DGO compensation for the best work I do all day on the golf course, the one hole, where I can hang with Tiger Woods. Yes, that is the 19th hole.

Maybe you are not a golfer and don’t even know how many holes are on a golf course. If we discount all gopher holes and the ones are human bodies come built with, there should be 18. The 19th is usually in the club house in a well air condition lounge – beverages aplenty. Now, how many hours at the 19th hole, will it take to wipe out the slowly built caloric equity of my riding around in a golf cart? The only way to find out, is to try it out. Fore!

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