The Football Fan’s Diet

PITTSBURGH – I can’t really believe there is not that much meat left on the bone. Season II on the FFD is almost kaput. On that note, I can’t believe how much tail I have kicked against my Inner Fat Slob the last several days. It has sunk in, I suppose, that this Season II will not go on forever. Like all Football Seasons, they come to an end and we are left to do the rest of life stuff that is non-football related. Stuff, like work and raise kids and paint household objects.

I don’t want to get ahead of myself here but, man, if I can put the wallop down for just a little over a month, I will have truly accomplished something special here. That is the remarkable thing about this Season II on the FFD. And, curse the whole damn Season, it will surely be weird not having this damn diet hanging over my head each day of my life, much like it has for the past 5 months. 5 Months. I can’t believe that. I really, really can’t. I will have to live like a normal, healthy-dude or something. But, I will.

When it is time to look back, and now is not, I will remember that this diet, which I had committed to as the number one priority back in January, has remained in first place ever since. Okay, did I just look back? But first place it still is: jobs be damned. Clients be damned. Home Improvement projects be damned. Family be damned. Friends be damned. World Peace be damned. The environment be damned. Pope John Pau… Okay, I think I made my point here. And that point is this: we crazy Americans can think of something stupid to solve any problem be it weight loss or how to inject cheese into the crust of a pizza.

Dare I say I am already waxing nostalgic. This posting will be one of the few remaining Regular Season postings and then I have to and must put it into a higher gear. Now, keep in mind, this past Monday, I spelled out exactly how I was planning to do that, but I never posted my thoughts to the FFD. That posting is simply part of the secret Word document collecting pixel dust in my computer fat hard drive ass. So, I supposed we will call such blathering “The Lost FFD Posts” and repackage the trite material into some book I can pawn off on as a stocking stuffer.

I don’t know where exactly I go after the Season is completed. I suppose it is never too early to start planning because if you don’t plan, you are planning to have something really contrived happened as such. After—and only after—I give it my best here on out on the last morsel of meat left on the bone, I will have to meticulously monitor my weight; Maybe not each day, but surely each week.

Having gained the weight seemingly overnight (a night which, eh, lasted 4 years), I will have to make it a integral part of my life to get on the scale regularly. When I start to slip, I make up for it somehow: get back on that bike, stay on that bike, run it off; maintain that Super Bowl trophy you worked so hard to get. If I do indeed get it. But, I will.

Still, over a month left on this bone. Some meat, I must still chew through on the Season II bone. The playoffs mean I must work extra hard and avoid the temptations. Easier said than done, but done easier when I am aware of the hurdles ahead. Can I do it? Can I finish what I had begun way back on a snowy day in February-nursing a Steelers Super Bowl hangover?

Man, I still remember that day fresh as that cold winter day. That was the walk along Schenley Park in Pittsburgh, during a sunny and pleasant day in winter. I had been doing the FFD for about a month with only lackluster progress to report. Than it happened. That day, kicked off an unprecedented drop in weight, healthy lifestyle choices and what have you. Yes, I hit another month or two of a plateau, where I stayed at same level for nearly weeks, for which now I am only emerging. But, I maintained what I lost and now I am losing again. I am almost there. It will be tough to meet the challenges ahead in the playoffs. But, I will. You can bet my fat rear on it—if you can find it.

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