The Football Fan’s Diet

By Matt DeReno
The Town Drunk is off this week

Beer of the golden-colored even,
Companion of Fred, Bob, Joe and Stephen,
Why at the closing sounds of the fourth quarter whistle,
The empty keg makes us bristle.

So fair thy pilsner beauty foam
When soft the beer of Lite flows;
So due thy lager love returns
To bar rooms brighter than the rose;

To Peace, to Pleasure, and to drink
So kind a beer thou seems to be,
Sure some big female orbs entice above
Captures my mind as I meet with thee!

This is the breathing, blushing hour
When all heavy drinkers drink with power,
Chased by the stress-subduing power
Of beer’s delicious brew.

O! sacred to the start of kick off.
Queen of propitious tailgates, appear,
And early rise, and long delay.
When Sweet Caroline brings a beer!

Shine on our chosen oak resort
Whose stools the sunward summit crown,
And wanton bar stools, that well may court
A beer drinker’s feet to tread them down.

Thus, ever thus, at last call’s decline
We converse sweet and wander far—
O bring with thee my beer Sweet Caroline,
And thou shalt be my Dallas Star!

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