The Football Fan’s Diet

By Matt DeReno
On The FFD

PITTSBURGH – This is Matt’s coach here and I have to say that this fat sack of blubber and guts had an awful eek last week, which was indicative of his lackluster, ho-hum attitude toward getting healthy. He has a loser’s mentality. This is not going to be an easy thing to change.

Let us review last week’s score. He got killed on Monday, Tuesday and Wed. Thursday and somehow Friday, he managed to win, only to loose again on Saturday and Sunday. The final score was Matt 20 – his Inner Fat Slob 38. But, he is not pressing the “reset button on the season” again as a brackish owner might do. No, I commend him for going through with this whole season. Come hell or high water, he is going to see this season through to the end.

When what you do is consistently loose, you need to change something. This week I petitioned the Football Fan’s Diet Commissioner for a rule change: No calorie counting. This fat slob is too lazy to do that with any regularity. Instead, we are after results and we will let Matt’s creative mind work on achieving them. Let us consider this rule change.

• Touchdown on any day weight goes down at least 1 pound.
• Field goal on any day Matt exercises
• Gives up a touchdown on any day he gains at least 1 pound
• Gives up a field goal on any day he swigs a brew.

Simple right? Well, there will be a chance to score at the end of the week too.

If at the end of the week, a net loss is shown from the week before, then a touchdown is scored. Conversely, if a gain is showed, then a touchdown is given up.

The idea behind the last rule is to reward a weekly loss, which might be somewhat diluted in the day-to-day fluctuations of trying not to eat like a fat pig. I don’t know what else to do for this guy? This is my effort to see if I can correct these preseason problems. The rules are not designed to make it easier to do, but to easier, perhaps more interesting, to jump start what is an anemic start to this season.

By Matt De Reno
On The FFD

PITTSBURGH – What can I say? The first day had every intention of going great, but ultimately in the end, I blew it. I almost had it. I almost had a winning day. But, I can keep telling myself that there is some form of healthy eating that includes fitting in a “Blast.” Do you know how many calories are in a Blast? Like over a 1000.

So now I must get it right today. I must remember that it is all about calories. I must remember that I have to watch what goes in this body of mine.

I also have to get into gear in terms of my new job. Well, at least I got some gear. That is I got a new Dell Inspiron Netbook. It is small, lightweight and highly portable. Hmm. Were it that I could be described in the same manner.

By Matt DeReno
On The FFD

PITTSBURGH – Sometimes you have to force change and to do that you simply must put yourself in a sink or swim sort of scenario. I believe I did just that with this new career change. This new job will require that I am out and about the local community, visiting and interacting with people at their place of business or community organization.

I won’t let the cat out of the bag on exactly what I will be doing, but it is a writing gig for sure and it will demand I change my lifestyle. Either that or it will demand I find a new line of work. I am committed to the later.

The point is that I will no longer have the luxury of sitting behind my computer all day, working from home, avoiding all forms of physical activity if I so choose to do so.

Therefore, I will embrace this new era. I will change and force myself to adapt the habits of the high energy folk who float about this sort of environment with a certain effortless energy that is most enviable. For now, I must attempt to do that in fat pants. But, change is here. It starts today. It starts now.

By Matt DeReno
On The FFD

PITTSBURGH – Yesterday was a good day (not to sound like Ice Cube) but it was a good day in terms of my health and a most memorable one in terms of my family life. My daughter learned to ride a bike yesterday. It is one of those days, I told her, that she will always remember.

Heck, I remember the day I learned to ride my bike—a cherry red Schwinn Scrambler that my parents bought me for Christmas. That was way back in, well, the date is not that important. The point is once you know how to ride a bike, you never forget. I wish the same could be said of healthy living. Seems I have amnesia in that regards.

There was a time I was really healthy, but I have mostly forgotten that time. There was a time when eating healthy was simply second nature, but I have mostly blank memories of that time too. However, I have to learn to ride that bike over again.

I won’t make any bold predictions based on one good day, but yesterday I got on the “health bike” and took a ride. Hopefully, I don’t forget that day (I surely will not forget watching my daughter take off on her own for the first time ever). It should be noted I was extremely bloated (no, I am not channeling Ice Cube) from the late night Burger King I consumed Wed. That crap seemed to stick with me the entire day.

But yesterday was a good day. I took an enjoyable bike ride around the lake (North Park, Allegheny County, Pa.) to get that bloated feeling to abdicate its throne for a moment. When I got back, I took my daughter for her unforgettable lesson. Later that evening, I was sitting on the bed and could see how big my fat gut had become in the past year. Man, it is time to remember how to ride that bike again.

Yesterday was a good day, but for me personally, it will be some time before I can take those training wheels off and ride the health bike like it was second nature. Chalk up a touch down (7) and a field goal (3). I drove the ball on my Inner Fat Slob and scored. I have to put in a great Friday, Saturday and Sunday to win this week and even then, my weight is spiked up so high from my unhealthy eating earlier in the week, that I will be happy to simply show a modest weight gain this week.

It is preseason but by the end of the year I am committed to winning the Super Bowl. I mean that coach. It is time to get my fat rear in gear (with all apologies to Ice Cube).

By Matt DeReno
On The FFD

PITTSBURGH – Yesterday started out good. It ended badly. Well, it ended with a nice meal at a Mexican restaurant. That part was good. Today, I have to pull myself up by my fat rolls and jump back on the right track.

I don’t know why, but I am optimistic the big turnaround is coming soon. A lot of that might be because of the new job I am embarking upon Monday. You see I will be very busy visiting a lot of businesses. I will have to write descriptions of these businesses and take a lot of photos. I will be out and about and on my own. I like working like that.

We’ll see if the new job is the change that can get my health going in the right direction. After all, the weight started creeping back on mostly because of I sit at home all day (well, work at home behind a computer). So, working out in the field, so to speak, might be different. This could be the trick that does it. I am going to believe that. I must, becuase to be successful at this new job I need energy, or I need a new occupation. I think I will find the energy.

By Matt DeReno
On The FFD

PITTSBURGH – Yesterday was a moderately “good bad day” compared to the previous gorge fest at least. It was interesting because I distinctly recall being pissed at me, at my health, whoever is responsible for it. There was anger in me at who else but me?

Maybe that is the feeling you need to have before you can commit to a permanent change in lifestyle? Maybe it can’t be this logical analytical woe is me approach. Maybe I simply need to get pissed off at how unhealthy I have been.

It is very frustrating. It is almost like you sometimes feel health is simply beyond your reach. It is like I can try all I want, but I am my own worst enemy. I have conflicting needs. I have two personalities trying to battle it out. I have this notion of me as a healthy person. Then, there is me the man that needs to eat in order to deal with stress.

Well looking at the calendar today, this week is it for 2010. That is if I start over again, well, I am into to 2011 and this year would have been a failure in my mind. I don’t want that to happen. I want to see 2011 being at my new and healthy weight. I have a whole lot of reasons for needing this to happen too. I will have a new son arrive in August. I better have some extra energy stores for that. It also looks like I will have a new job, one which will require me to be very active.

If ever there was a time to turn around an unhealthy lifestyle it is now. I simply can’t afford to be dragging all this extra weight around. That makes me mad. Let’s see how mad I get.

By Matt DeReno
On The FFD

PITTSBURGH – Hey, I am still doing it. I am slowly losing. This is into the second week now.

I changed gears on Monday and went to a predominantly low carbohydrate diet. So far it is working out. Each day the scale is going down. My cravings seem to be well under control.

There are drawbacks to low carbohydrate eating. Namely, variety. It seems I am cooking eggs for breakfast one way or another and time and again. Lunch is an exciting salad. Dinner is another exciting salad with a piece of grilled meat spiced so much it might make the devil’s mouth catch fire. I will tell you what. I will take that if it helps me get my weight under control.

I recall a time last year when the doctor told me I was a healthy guy except for my weight. He went on to explain that my weight was clearly the biggest issue I had to deal with . So, I am dealing with it. It is an ongoing battle. The Football Fan’s Diet is my special way of dealing with it – hopefully in a permanent manner.

I would like to ratchet up the health of my low carb choices to another level. That is cut back on the red meat. Fresh grilled seafood and exciting salad could be in order next. I also have dramatically reduce my need for diet pop too, though not totally eliminating it. I did have a Diet Mt. Dew yesterday – okay three. But, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Man, I have to get rid of that losers phrase.

By Matt DeReno
On The FFD

PITTSBURGH – Now listen up. Matt did some positive things last week, but time and again, the weekend nearly ruined it all. He got the win for Preseason Week 1 but it is clear that dramatic change is still in order. I liken last week to say The Oakland Raiders and the Cincinnati Bengals playing a regular season game. Somebody has got to win. That is when two horribly pathetic teams square off, they are lucky the rules call for the better team to win when in reality, both teams should loose. Last week Matt won.

This week we need to make some changes. For one, the type of food Matt shovels down his pie hole needs to change. It is one thing to count calories but a true champion counts it all. In that regards, Matt is going to severely limit refined sugar and flour products. Oh, I heard such a eating approach called “Low Carb Dieting.” So be it.

The beauty of the Football Fan’s Diet is that any beer drinking, football loving slob can do it. It is like a Weight Watcher’s for men. Now, Matt needs to prove if he is man enough to carry out a whole complete season. It starts this week. It starts with Preseason Week 2.

By Matt DeReno
On The FFD

PITTSBURGH – Okay, so now I am on day number 3 of trying to get back onto an FFD I can be proud of. The big news this time around is that I am giving up all fake sugar drinks. No more Diet Mt. Dew. You don’t know how hard this is for me to say (or write for that matter).

Yes, diet drinks are non-caloric. But, who knows what those chemicals all do to you? So far as I can read, not much good can come of pumping your body full of this stuff. Why embalm myself before its time?

Plus, drinks are expensive. I only wonder how much money I have spent on Diet Mt. Dew in the past year? Moreover, my meals are now cheaper too. I had an egg sandwich at Subway this morning and got a cup of water with it. Pretty tasty water, not to mention the egg sandwich.

And so here goes another spin on the FFD. Hold tight. I know my belt is. Now, I am off to bike the lake.

By Matt De Reno
On The FFD

PITTSBURGH – I have to say that I have now chalked up 4 winning yet modest days in a row. But, perhaps, therein lies the secret to success. Moderate and modest.

I am taking the approach that I need to do a little bit of a lot of things each day to get where I need to be, which is healthy. This means I need to be sure to exercise and do stuff around the house, especially in the yard.

I am also striving to keep my mind off food and I read it is good to focus on some sort of other diversion. In that respects, I have to say that new pastime is acting. I am going to act in an upcoming performance and this gets me excited. Short of scoring a touch down in the Super Bowl, acting is right up my alley.

What I need to do now is act healthy. I believe if I can act healthy first, then I will become healthy. I will take the method acting approach to becoming healthy. I will become the character of a healthy individual and see if it sticks.

Today also marks the beginning of a new phase in the Football Fan’s Diet, called the Organized Health Activities (OTAs). During OTAs I will strive to participate in just that, organized health activities, with others. This could be basketball, golf, walking—something involving another individual.

If I don’t, hey, I already signed the contract, what can the team do? Then again, I don’t have much to show for The FFD in terms of a winning track record. Yes, I dropped a bunch of weight one year, but put it on the next. That is like following up a playoff season with one in which you don’t even make the wild card. I have had too many of those as well. Maybe instead, I’ll act like a champion and see if that sticks too.